Walk On

The Champions Who Walked Among Us

WEP’S OCTOBER CHALLENGE, THE SCREAM, OCTOBER 20-22, 2021, STOP SIGNS IGNORED, A POEM, BY Pat Garcia, @pat_garcia @DeniseCCovey @YolandaRenee @LGKeltner


Tagline: Ignoring stop signs can be deadly.

STOP SIGNS IGNORED

It was her life the daughter screamed,

and she gazed in disdain at her mother.

The older woman stood amazed at the sixteen-year-old

and the reflection of hatred coming from her eyes.

She watched as her daughter ran into the darkness. 

On a bitterly cold night, on a lonely street, defying her warnings, 

ignoring her pleas to return home with her.

Returning home, the mother took out her rosary, began to pray, and fell asleep.

The weatherman had said the temperature would be way below freezing.

The sharp wind beating against her house confirmed his prognosis.

A loud thump against her front door awakened her, and she jumped up and hurried to look out the peep. 

But no one was there. 

Noticing the chilled room, she turned up the heat, took her rosary, and began praying again.

The sun woke her up. 

Where was that daughter of hers, she asked herself while going to retrieve the newspaper from the front door? 

Shock reverberated throughout her body 

When she opened it.

On the stoop lay her daughter, 

Frozen dead,

Before she screamed.

43 Comments

  1. I felt that in my core, Pat. As a mother, I don’t think I’d ever get over such a moment. Then again, I have my son on Life360, so I always know where he is. LOL! Great short story! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello Yvette,
      I have not heard of Life360. Is that an app? I must google it. Thank you for dropping by. I really struggle with this one. I don’t know how many times I revised; the revisions were numerous. I am satisfied with the results, and I am glad you felt it. I had hoped that I grabbed the hearts of those who read it..
      Shalom aleichem

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, it’s an app that allows you to see where the other person(s) is(are). As a mom, it gives me great peace of mind. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh no!!! The regrets she’s going to feel.
    Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Jemi.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  3. The end was very tragic, immensely painful. Veery well wwritten.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks and thank you for coming by.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  4. Rebecca Douglass

    True horror. The last thing the mother wanted, and presumably not what the kid was after, either.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such a tragedy! The poor mother will be haunted by this for the rest of her life. Excellent entry!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Shirley Harris-Slaughter

    What a story, Pat! Just enough drama to peak your interest.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Heartbreaking.
    Her scream will echo in her head and her heart until the end of her days.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Nooooo! Patty, that’s heart rending. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A mother’s worst nightmare!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sometimes we ignore the signs we shouldn’t have, and then the regrets last a lifetime. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh Pat! What a heartrending story. That poor mother. In many ways, the mother’s life is over, too. What if? the eternal question. Great entry for The Scream!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, the ‘what if’ is a question that will follow her everyday she awakes.
      Thanks so much for coming by.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  12. Chilling poem to say the least. Well done Pat.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. hilarymb

    Hi Pat – just desperate for the poor mother – she’ll never recover … her thoughts will always impose; ghastly for her – so well told by you. Gosh I feel this story – all the best – Hilary

    Liked by 1 person

    • It will take her strength of faith if she does recover.
      Thank you for coming by, Hilary.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  14. So very sad. Such a horrid thing to live with. That scream would reverberate for years!
    Well told!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Yolanda.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  15. Nilanjana Bose

    How terribly tragic! It’s never just ‘my life’ is it? So many others are connected and affected by one life or its end. Heart wrenching. A great entry for the Scream, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’ve said, Nilanjana. It is never just life.
      Thanks for coming by.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  16. Miss Pat,
    You’ve penned an intense and emotionally stirring story. Ignored signs often end up in tragic outcomes. The mother’s scream will reverberate forever.
    It’s a perfect offering for the challenge.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, ignored signs almost always end up that way, unfortunately.
      Thank you for coming by.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  17. I hoped it would be just another mother-daughter battle and my blood ran cold at the thump. She’ll always ask herself why she didn’t open the door instead of just looking through the peep. Oh, the regret!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, she will and the daughter probably regretted not listening as she bumped into something that she didn’t expect.
      Thank you for dropping by.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  18. Good grief Patricia, this gave me a right fright. Full of tension – well executed –

    Liked by 1 person

  19. lgkeltner

    This is truly a mother’s worst fear, and I felt for her all the way through. So powerful and well written!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Hi Pat,

    You wrote a bone-chilling story in so few words. Such a tragic end for a daughter’s life and a tragic life living without her only child.

    Like

  21. Very tragic! Something similar happened to a family near me growing up, but it was an intoxicated father that was left out in the cold. I don’t think the mom was so upset about him. This would be devastating!

    Liked by 1 person

    • People love others for different reasons. It could be that the mom was devastated and was afraid to show it because all of the neighbours knew how he was. Any death where someone freezes to death is horrible for me.
      Thank you so much for coming by.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  22. Oh Pat, I have two daughters. That would indeed be terrifying.
    Nancy

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I feel such a scene would be devastating for any mother regardless of whether it is a girl or a boy.
      Thank you so much for dropping by.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  23. Oh no! I yelled at her to open the door, check it wasn’t just the wind… and my fears proved founded. Beautifully written, Pat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Jemima- Yes, I kind of yell too but in my heart I thought, how many people would open their doors at 3 am in the morning and came up with no one would, especially when it is icy cold and you’ve had a bitter argument.
      Have a great week.
      Shalom aleichem

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Nicely dark and “scream-worthy” for this WEP, Pat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Lee. Have a lovely weekend.
      Shalom aleichem

      Like

  25. Wow – Patti. Very impressive. It triggered a whirlwind of emotions inside of me! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: